for the rest of our lives
nobody knows,
but nobody needs to know.
forever best friends.
but nobody needs to know.
forever best friends.
it tears me to pieces how badly I want to go back to how I was before, but my scars have finally all faded and I know I wouldn’t be able to stop again.
next time I will not stay calm.
(Source: anthonytherat, via maryrosee-xo)
if you’re ever sad or depressed or self conscious about yourself just remember
there are people out there who masturbate to fictional ponies on a kids tv show and you’re not one of them
omg
^THIS
…and suddenly I feel a bit less shitty o.o
(Source: donkeykongcountry2, via yourcinematiceyes)
all my posts about death on my other blog are kinda serious, very secret cries for help that I only want one person in particular to approach me about. (I like to pretend he still cares about me even if he really doesn’t, regardless of how much I still want him to.)
I just want to sit here and be sad.
I’m tired of burdoning people with my problems so it would really mean a lot to me if no one read this, but I need to get it out so that I can maybe stop crying and maybe get to sleep sometime soon.
nights like tonight when only chad sugg understands me even though he doesn’t really, “I’d like to be the bright side of your bad day” but tonight there will be no bright side and I don’t even care anymore. I’m so upset with myself for letting this go on for so long. it’s been 915 days and I’m still not fucking over it, and the only person I can blame is myself…
but I’m pretty sure no one reads this so I’d rather do it here where no one has to see it.
the only thing I want anymore is just to know he cares about me, to know that he’s thinking about me, for him to text me first. for him to tell me he wants me too.
but it hurts because I know he doesn’t care about me and that he isn’t thinking about me because he doesn’t text me first, and I know he doesn’t want me because he didn’t say it back.
it hurts because I know that I don’t need him but it makes me want him so much more. all the love in the world doesn’t add up to what I feel but it breaks my heart constantly to know it’s so one sided now. he needs me less than I need him and I don’t know what to do.
I’M STONED AND I’M SKIPPING AND THE SKY IS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL.
I JUST WANT TO SHOOT UP INTO IT.
(I AM GROUNDED I AM HUMBLE I AM ONE WITH EVERYTHING)
as I sat on the floor backstage I looked up and saw her talking to vincent. I know they were talking about me, but all I could do was sit there and finish putting elastic through jackie’s skirt. she talked to him with such a sadness in her eyes. I hate so much that I hurt her. she never deserved to be betrayed like that.
that’s when it really hit me that nothing good came out of this decision, and knowing that I can’t take it back is so much weight on my heart. the only thing I want to do is cry on the shoulder of the one I love and tell him how much I wish it could have been him, about how sorry I am. about how I actually really, really regret this. all I want to do is hold him close, but I know he doesn’t love me like he used to anymore so instead I’ll just sit here and think about all the different ways I can run away from him.
1. I still love you.
2. I’m not trying hard enough not to.
(which means)
3. I’ve been lying to him and it breaks my heart.
4. there’s absolutely no way I can make this better.
while you were busy forgetting my birthday I was busy spending all day with someone who treats me better than you do.
fuck you…
